The youth-written stories in Represent give inspiration and information to teens in foster care while offering staff insight into those teens’ struggles.

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POETRY: Unloaded Dice
Sidnee Totty, 17
Placerville, CA

It’s not worth the fear and it’s not worth the pain,
To live in the hell and go back to the same.
The same habits and ways and life they create,
There’s little more on this earth that I hate.
There is more for me in this world I just know it,
I’m waiting for something to unfold and just show it.
This is only me now, believe I’m gonna shine
Nothing unreachable, like a clock without time.
No way I’ll go back and let that lifestyle take the best of me.
There’s the fact that next time I fall into it, It might take the rest of me
I’m climbing to the top, I don’t dare look back to the bottom.
Even though it was easier to leave my feelings alone and forgotten.
I’m able to mean what I say and walk what I talk.
The wisdom I behold comes with a shock.
It’s crazy what comes out when not driven away,
By dope smoke and words from what people say.
I am clean and serene and shutting down my wrath.
I know my direction
I’ve chosen my path
The clarity of it hit me hard and hit me fast.
I’m surprised the impact didn’t put me in a cast.
I can go on without regret and live without shame,
I can leave the cards that were dealt to me behind with The Game.
I may be straightening up, that doesn’t mean I’m not down
Bring the loaded dice around me and find yourself on the ground.
I’m letting go forever, won’t search the lost and found.
Listen to the silence, it’s a wonderful sound.
I am far too beautiful, I’m far too strong
I’ve been hiding and I’ve been trapped too long
So here I go and there I’ll stay
Where life isn’t a game with loaded dice that you play
Where I can be happy with my life and everything is okay
Where I don’t have to worry about my freedom being suddenly taken away.
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