FCYU124 cover image See all stories from issue #124, Spring 2016

RK-IL image Get great stories in 'Transition to Adulthood Resource Kit'
ISBN: 9781935552185
Ramse Dunn, 16
Painesville, Ohio

Why me, why me
These six months make me feel alone
Why me, why me
No worries because soon I’ll be back home
Why me, why me
Then I can’t blame, the choice or decision will be mine
I wish I can go back to the times when drugs didn’t take over anything
I wish I could take back everything

How can I express all of this?
I was raised in a house where I could not say any of this
Where I was beat if I walked wrong. I never did anything wrong
We never did anything wrong
I guess some things won’t ever go away
I was feeling lost more and more each day
I thought I’d never see a hopeful day
Lots of screaming and hitting, doors slamming and windows breaking
That’s what went on during a decent day
I thought she would never get tired and leave
I can’t blame her—where would we go?

youthcomm logo

Why me, why me
Why did my real dad leave when I was only three?
Why me, why me
Why did no one try and help?
Why me, why me
Why did no one ever ask?
How long did my mom think this would last?
We thought this was a phase or maybe his drinking rage
But even sober we got it just as bad.
I got this every day from a person I call dad
I didn’t know better so we always forgave
But still every night I was confused
Why me, why me
Why did I count on tears to help me fall asleep?

Til this day I have trouble with trust
I blame myself for it all. I should have stayed out of his way
I should have done better. I should have minded my own business
All of these questions but no answers, it makes me feel worthless
I would think who in the world has done so much wrong to deserve this

And it happens all around the world, and I can really say I understand their pain
I wish I could save them all from this nightmare
No one should go through this, it’s not fair
But what can I do, I’m just a lucky victim.
Why me, why me
Why can’t I help those in need?

horizontal rule