FCYU117 cover image See all stories from issue #117, Summer 2014

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POETRY: Life of a Lost Teen
Shantelle Hicks, 17
Gary, IN

Never thought this would happen to me.
All the pain I go through you can’t see.
Running from the past is killing my future
And it kills me that everything about me is on a computer.

He hurt me, she hurt me, what more do you want
So afraid of men, it’s women I flaunt.
Bein’ in the system ain’t all peaches and cream.
No, it’s not a pretty little dream.

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I been in the system since the age of 4.
Nothing ever helps me anymore.
Promises made never have they been kept.
The lies you told left a permanent welt.

You said you loved me but clearly you lied.
I remember all the days I sat up and cried.
This is the life of a lost teen.
The feelings of a girl that dreamed to be a queen.

Now I’m stuck in this world alone.
My feelings are out, they have been shown.
But do you really understand what I’m going through
Or are you helping me because you have to?

Tears run down my cheeks but do you notice?
Or am I going to spend the rest of my life hopeless?
I’ve pushed people away my whole life.
There even was a time I turned to a knife.

Scared to trust a soul or even myself.
It’s like I’m waiting on that instant death.
The day you fall off this earth
Will be the day I rebirth.

All I ever wanted was to be normal like other people my age.
But I guess I can’t have my way.
That’s it, I’m done.
Do you understand that The Lost Teen is gone?

(FCYU-2014-07-30a)