Examining the Need to Belong

In “I Want Out of My Gang Family” the author joins a gang because she wants to feel like she’s part of the group. But instead of feeling protected and loved, she gets locked up and then has to lie and sneak around to get out of the gang.

Prompts for discussion and/or writing:

• Can you remember a time when you longed to be part of a group or community? Can you connect that longing to what was going on in your life at that point? Did you feel particularly alone? Why?

• What groups have you found yourself drawn to (teams, clubs, bands, political or religious groups, gangs, etc.)? What in particular about that group spoke to you?

• What made the writer desire group connection so badly that she joined the gang? (Possible answers: Her parents didn’t listen to her; she wanted to feel protected.)

• What did the gang offer her? (Possible answers: The woman gang leader said “loyalty, respect, honesty, and unity” and that the gang members stuck by each other through adversity. She also suggested that the gang gently enforced high standards like “conducting yourself well” and doing well in school.)

• What are some of the ways that the gang did not deliver as promised? (Possible answers: They told the writer to cut school; they got her drunk and took embarrassing photos; they told her to stab people.)

• Have you had the experience of finding yourself in too deep with a destructive group of people? What happened?

• Why is the author so trapped in this situation? (Possible answers: She had committed violent crimes the gang knew about; some gangs beat up or kill members who try to leave.)

• What questions should the author have asked before getting involved with the gang? What are some warning signals that a group that seems to offer acceptance and protection really isn’t looking out for you?

• What are signs of a group or community that is healthy and will help you grow?